Crazy Rick supports educators, and believes that they should have the resources necessary to successfully perform their duties.
Ha, duties. To that end, when he is elected President, Crazy Rick will implement his Alcohol for Educators (A4E) program.
While Crazy Rick does not have kids, he was, once upon a time, an actual child himself. As a former kid, he understands the vital role that educators play in our society.
Without educators, who would raise our nation’s children? Not their parents, that’s for damn sure!
So, while actually paying teachers a good wage is a political non-starter, Crazy Rick wants to help educators cope by giving them a $25 weekly voucher for alcohol.
Now some of you may have objections to this program, ranging from fiscal concerns to moral hesitation. Crazy Rick hears you.
On the moral front: here’s a useful framework. Take the number of kids you have. Think about how much they drive you to drink. Now, multiply the number of kids you have by 10, and that’s roughly the number of students a teacher has to deal with on a daily basis. Thank you for now supporting A4E!
Fiscally speaking, A4E is a relatively inexpensive program with a high return on investment. There are 3.7 million educators in the US. Roughly 33% of the American population does not drink alcohol. On average, teachers drink much more, so let’s raise that assumption to 25%, now making our pool 2.8M educators.
Most years have 52 weeks, but, as we all know, 2020 has 200 weeks. We will use the normal 52 weeks for our calculation. So, 2.8M educators X $25 X 52 weeks = $3.6B per year.
Only $3.6B in annual governmental expenditure? Not too shabby for making such a big difference in the lives of those making such a big difference in the lives of our children! *Mic drop*
Please follow Crazy Rick (@itscrazyrick on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter) and check out my website here for a little (emphasis on little) political comic relief mixed with other silliness. Unless, of course, you’re a serious person. If that’s the case, just stay in/move to California and leave us alone.